I want little more right now than to take a shower and get a full night's sleep. I have reached a point where if I pause while typing anything I hit apple s. I hit it at the end of every period, even if I am not pausing. I went to Mr. Larsens's house to pick up and go over my draft, and he said "you don't look like you've been up to all hours of the night all week" and I sort of shrugged. I had recently woken up, so probably looked slightly fresher than I felt. I decided yesterday that the half hour I could spend in the shower was time I could spend on my essay, and so I am not showering until it is finished. Brianne is reading over it so that I can have someone to talk to to reach my conclusion.
Yes, I'm miserable.
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01:45:57 PM,Saturday 1 February 2003
I would like to see Word or Quark or something develop a function wherein if you triple click, it will select everything up to your next comma, period, semi-colon, or colon.
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12:05:11 PM,Saturday 1 February 2003
My paper is currently like Nanami's Cowbell; it has a point, but the audience doesn't know what it is yet.
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(1)
11:26:09 AM,Saturday 1 February 2003
The problem as I see it that Mr. Larsen is having with my paper and what's leading me to this problem. My paper turns into descriptions of what happens at various points in the book, and it's unclear to the reader why. To me that's happening because I'm using them to prove my thought, but the thought is clear only in my head, not on paper.
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10:48:10 AM,Saturday 1 February 2003
At some point last night, I had this thought that I should cut off all my hair and that would solve all my provlems. I'm really glad I thought better of it.
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09:35:33 AM,Saturday 1 February 2003
My ending is currently incredibly cheesy, I am 500 words short, I think I have made a lot of gazelle like leaps that I'm not sure I've backed up, my brain is exhausted, and my body is wired. I don't know what to do.
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(1)
03:39:28 AM,Saturday 1 February 2003
In 24 hours, my paper will be handed in. I will have rung the bell.
I might start crying now.
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(1)
01:56:07 AM,Saturday 1 February 2003
I have started working my way through my CD collection, in sort of random no way order, but not listening to anything twice until they have all been listened to. I'm on the Matthew Passion.
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10:46:03 PM,Friday 31 January 2003
That's what Diomedes doesn't have!
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10:44:15 PM,Friday 31 January 2003
Here, you can all read my breakthrough. "We admire these men because they are willing to sacrifice themselves for that which they love. There is something that these men care about more than they care about their own lives. They may love it, as Hector loves his family, or they may hate it, as Achilles hates the murderer of his best friend. This is not so easy in the case of Achilles because what he changes what it is he cares about, and often he thinks, as do we, that the thing he cares about more than his life is his own reputation." (This is notes.)
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10:20:26 PM,Friday 31 January 2003
I'm about to sit here and do that thing where you check your email every few seconds in the hope that you finally got a response to something. I don't want to call Mr. Larsen, cause I hate calling people late in the evening, but I really want to know what he thinks about my breakthrough.
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10:19:53 PM,Friday 31 January 2003
Had a breakthrough, talked to Katherine and Tracy, who helped me hash it out a bit more. Went back to my room to type it up before it slipped out of my head and such things are wont to do. Am sitting here jittery on the chocolate covered coffee beans I have been eating and the adreneline rush of knowing what I'm trying to reach. Emailed my advisor to tell him, because I'm sure he was worried that I didn't know, cause I sure as hell was worried that I didn't know. Am still sitting at my computer. Am starting to feel the crash coming that I'm not sure there's any point to any of the stuff I've written.
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10:17:49 PM,Friday 31 January 2003
I'm feeling paranoid now about everything I write. Is this paragraph superficial:
Achilles has been told that if he remains in Troy, he will die but is glory will live on forever, but he is also permitted to return to his fatherland to live out a long life, but it will be one where he will not be remembered after he dies. Before The Iliad begins, Achilles seems to have been more than willing to fight at Troy, even with the foreknowledge that he will die, because he will be remembered forever as a great man. But while he lives, the king Agamemnon demands back a token of honor. It is not because of the girl herself that Achilles is upset, but because he takes Agamemnon’s action as telling him that he is as great a man as he believes himself to be. He is forced to reconsider his earlier decision to die for his glory, because his glory is not recognized while he is living. He fears that the part of the prophecy stating that he will die at Troy will come true, but that he will not be remembered. ((Like Euripides’ Dionysus)) He demands that his greatness be recognized to his face.
The stuff in double parantheses and italics is questionable, and probably will not actually wind up in the paper.
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(3)
08:44:00 PM,Friday 31 January 2003
The internet is the easiest distraction ever. I am unplugging my ethernet chord again.
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06:39:26 PM,Friday 31 January 2003
Huh. Last night my printer refused to print, saying that it wasn't connected. When first I checked it, it was unplugged. I plugged it in, lights flashed, etc., it still refused to print, saying it wasn't connected. I turned it off for the night, and now it's printing fine.
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(1)
11:27:57 AM,Friday 31 January 2003
I'm never quite sure I should add Hera into my Word dictionary. On the one hand, it's frustrating as hell to see the little red underlines, on the other hand, I'm the sort that's actually likely to mistype "here" as "hera" and if Word doesn't catch that, then I might not either.
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(1)
11:20:00 AM,Friday 31 January 2003
Are Satan and God more powerful than Morpheus because they are current gods? He does not fear Odin, he fears Satan. I would think that the an Endless piece of the Universe would be stronger than any god.
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11:16:03 AM,Friday 31 January 2003
All right, hands up for all those who Katherine made feel old.
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(1)
01:07:58 AM,Friday 31 January 2003
Would Theodora perhaps prefer link">Rent?
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12:03:02 AM,Friday 31 January 2003
I caught Hector up in a cup to change his water just now cause his water was starting to look all cloudy, and there were all these bits of uneaten food that had sunk to the bottom of his bowl. He was so miserable as I tried to catch him, and I felt very bad about it. But is water is much prettier now.
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(2)
11:54:02 PM,Thursday 30 January 2003