One of my favorite items in the fortune database is this:
MOCK APPLE PIE (No Apples Needed)
Pastry to two crust 9-inch pie
36 RITZ Crackers
2 cups water
2 cups sugar
2 teaspoons cream of tartar
2 tablespoons lemon juice
Grated rind of one lemon
Butter or margarine
Cinnamon
Roll out bottom crust of pastry and fit into 9-inch pie plate. Break
RITZ Crackers coarsely into pastry-lined plate. Combine water, sugar
and cream of tartar in saucepan, boil gently for 15 minutes. Add lemon
juice and rind. Cool. Pour this syrup over Crackers, dot generously
with butter or margarine and sprinkle with cinnamon. Cover with top
crust. Trim and flute edges together. Cut slits in top crust to let
steam escape. Bake in a hot oven (425 F) 30 to 35 minutes, until crust
is crisp and golden. Serve warm. Cut into 6 to 8 slices.
-- Found lurking on a Ritz Crackers box
It is, obviously, a rather horrifying idea. A little research, however, establishes that there really is such a creature [details on mock apple pie are towards the bottom of the entry on apple pie].
I have come to believe that mock apple pie may be a Discordian sacrament.
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(7)
05:20:08 PM,
Tuesday 15 October 2002
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Well that line of text wrapped at exactly the place best calculated to be useless to me. Let's try this again: shdgfkskfdhdhfghgsdgsdhd
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02:44:45 PM,
Tuesday 15 October 2002
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This is a test. Does the CSS small-caps font-variant do the right thing?
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02:43:41 PM,
Tuesday 15 October 2002
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Is there a reliable way to do proper small caps on a web page? (Capitalizing and using <small> will get you a decent approximation, of course, but ideally small caps should be the same height as lowercase letters.)
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02:34:36 PM,
Tuesday 15 October 2002
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...and as Wittgenstein could have told you, there is nothing more philosophical than a philosophical joke.
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11:45:07 PM,
Monday 14 October 2002
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The programs we've been building at work have launched. I did My Newsletter Maker and Mitsu did My Card Maker, and we both worked on a library of stuff they have in common. It's not the most exciting thing ever, but I'm happy to have finished it, and especially happy with what we've been able to do within the limitations of Flash. Now on to the next one.
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(4)
04:03:45 PM,
Monday 14 October 2002
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Republican Mike Taylor dropped out of the Senate race against Democratic Sen. Max Baucus yesterday, complaining that a Democratic Party ad was calculated to make him look like a gay hairdresser.
...I don't even know where to begin.
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(10)
03:36:18 PM,
Saturday 12 October 2002
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Hmm... that it's from Disney is a big strike against it already. Still, there may be some hope. I'll have to reread the book first.
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(23)
09:55:06 PM,
Friday 11 October 2002
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Mark Pilgrim has built the most beautiful referrer linkback system I have ever seen. Links to referring pages, usually to the proper anchor and permlink, with an appropriate excerpt from the page. This is how I hope cross-blog conversations will look in the future.
Also see the comments on this 0xDECAFBAD post, where he explains how it works. It's a pretty nice system--straightforward enough to be easily understandable, but complex enough to get things right most of the time despite the messiness of the web.
I think this is the first system I've seen that really makes cross-blog conversation feel more natural than leaving a comment directly on a blog. I like that.
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03:55:43 PM,
Friday 11 October 2002
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If you're thinking of buying a car, Mike just posted some good advice in a comment on Andrew's blog.
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02:48:23 PM,
Friday 11 October 2002
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m14m hosted blogledytes: I seem to be feeling maintenancy today, so if there's anything that needs to be done on your blog (sidebar updates, typo fixes, that sort of thing), now would probably be a good time to ask. Specifying things in as much detail as possible is always appreciated, of course. --The Mgt.
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(20)
02:13:16 PM,
Friday 11 October 2002
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Or did I dream it?
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(3)
12:03:23 AM,
Thursday 10 October 2002
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Split-P soup?
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10:35:42 PM,
Wednesday 9 October 2002
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my, your, his, her, its
I'm, you're, he's, she's, it's
That's probably the easiest way to remember. Saw it in someone's Slashdot sig one day.
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(2)
09:37:47 PM,
Wednesday 9 October 2002
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I am sure my experience of watching Office Space was helped by the fact that the LaserJet III printer which we had when I was young actually had a "PC Load Letter" error.
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07:05:39 PM,
Wednesday 9 October 2002
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One of the chief problems with the computer, as a tool for the use of civilized persons, is that it cannot conveniently be used while one is reclining.
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(13)
04:21:50 PM,
Wednesday 9 October 2002
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m14m is a stick of chewing gum that emits thick black smoke! It detects harmful gases and can cook small meals.
[via MetaFilter]
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(8)
01:00:22 PM,
Wednesday 9 October 2002
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Hmm... I think it would actually be possible to do offsite TrackBack hosting for people with BlogSpot blogs and such. Like yaccs, but for TrackBack. JavaScript and Perl. Build it on top of the standalone implementation.
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(1)
02:22:48 PM,
Tuesday 8 October 2002
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You don't have to be sane. You just have to be saner than everyone around you.
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(7)
08:39:43 PM,
Monday 7 October 2002
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I get a magic cookie!
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(13)
07:37:57 PM,
Monday 7 October 2002
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I think there's considerable common ground between anarchists on the left and right, even on economic questions, but they have various social blinders that will keep them from noticing this most of the time.
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(21)
06:29:37 PM,
Monday 7 October 2002
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This is what political discussion on MetaFilter is supposed to be.
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(9)
03:07:09 PM,
Monday 7 October 2002
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A system can be either consistent or complete.
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03:28:54 AM,
Sunday 6 October 2002
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The world is a book, and the book is written in words, and you can read the words, but you can't see all the words. There are things in your head that keep you from seeing the words, and you can take them out, and if you do, you will see the words, but you won't see only the words that are there. And you will know all truths, and you will know all illusions, but you won't know the one from the other, and you will be mad.
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(1)
03:28:41 AM,
Sunday 6 October 2002
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Moira just gave me a link to the Alternative Hungarian Dictionary. Yet more evidence that Moira rules.
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(1)
01:55:48 AM,
Saturday 5 October 2002
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There's a new version of naim out that apparently should fix the problem where it was dropping connection every few minutes.
My guess was slightly wrong--naim does use the TOC protocol, it's just that AOL has added some new thing to TOC that was confusing it.
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(5)
06:08:45 PM,
Friday 4 October 2002
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When did I...?
Oh! It's one of the wandering fish search results! Nifty.
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(1)
05:31:52 PM,
Friday 4 October 2002
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Tycho Brahe's system provides nothing of lasting value to the understanding of astronomy. (Whereas the Ptolemaic and Copernican systems do, even though they have both been in some sense overtaken by more complete descriptions). But at least he made some good observations.
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(7)
03:15:05 PM,
Friday 4 October 2002
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This story at Ftrain.com, about a car, and then about a sandwich, made me smile. It is worth reading. And it has a Wawa in it!
I found it by way of Dive Into Mark, but it is clearly time to start reading Ftrain regularly. The next one, I will find on my own. But you, gentle reader, should also make a point of reading Dive Into Mark more often. Just today, his history of the tilde included a link to a website with a fairly comprehensive collection of Bokonist material from Cat's Cradle. I am not always a Bokonist, but I am, at the very least, usually a Discordian, and Bokonon is surely a Discordian saint.
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01:05:51 PM,
Friday 4 October 2002
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Don Giovanni! You invited me to dinner! And I have come!
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(2)
12:32:46 PM,
Friday 4 October 2002
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Wandering fish.
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05:11:49 AM,
Friday 4 October 2002
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Oh, to hell with it. I don't have the patience to do a quote page. Besides, where else am I going to indicate to Moira that she's right after all, just hampered in her searching by a slight misquote. It's actually "O dark dark dark. They all go into the dark". It's from "East Coker", from Four Quartets.
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(1)
07:24:25 PM,
Thursday 3 October 2002
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I mean nice people, baby wait, I didn't mean to say nightmare.
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(2)
11:56:09 PM,
Wednesday 2 October 2002
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The Flea
Mark but this flea, and mark in this,
How little that which thou deny'st me is;
It sucked me first, and now sucks thee,
And in this flea, our two bloods mingled be;
Thou knowest that this cannot be said
A sin, nor shame, nor loss of maidenhead.
Yet this enjoys before it woo,
And pampered, swells with one blood made of two,
And this, alas, is more than we would do.
Oh stay, three lives in one flea spare,
Where we almost, yea, more than married are.
This flea is you and I, and this
Our marriage bed, and marriage temple is;
Though parents grudge, and you, we are met
And cloistered in these living walls of jet.
Though use make you apt to kill me,
Let not to that self murder added be,
And sacrilege, three sins in killing three.
Cruel and sudden, hast thou since
Purpled thy nail in blood of innocence?
Wherein could this flea guilty be
Except in that drop which it sucked from thee?
Yet thou triumph'st, and sayest that thou
Find'st not thyself, nor me, the weaker now.
'Tis true, then learn how false fears be;
Just so much honor, when thou yieldst to me,
Will waste, as this flea's death took life from thee.
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(13)
10:35:09 PM,
Wednesday 2 October 2002
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Waiting period? But I'm angry now!
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(2)
10:29:44 PM,
Wednesday 2 October 2002
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My hair is pudding! Lick me!
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(5)
09:18:38 PM,
Wednesday 2 October 2002
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