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Back. Did it in 58 minutes, which isn't bad considering my legs were protesting and my clothes were much heavier than normal. My hoodie felt like it might have been made of the lead-lined material they drape over you when you get x-rays. Glad I did it, though. Thought about giving up at several points, but the twin promises of guilt if I didn't finish and glowing achievement if I did spurred me onward. Now if you'll excuse me I'm rather peckish. _
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06:14:42 PM, Wednesday 18 May 2005

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It rains, yet I must go on my three mile walk today. yesterday I only did one. I almost* wish I hadn't done a half mile this morning when I woke up feeling restless. Now my proper walking pants are soaked through, as is my cool max shirt. Not that I suppose it makes much difference, but I'm left with a t-shirt and lightweight cords to walk in. Wet cotton is always a drag, and these corduroys persist in unrolling and draggging on the ground despite my best efforts. Still, better than jeans for heaviness when wet.

In any case, I shall go, and to keep myself honest, I shall report my time when I return. The I shall have some hot soup and watch (or read) some fluff.

*Almost, but not quite, because no one was out and the world was all pearly grey from the rain, and quite apart from stomping in puddles, I discovered a perfect "haunted" house a couple of blocks over. Not rundown, just suitably opulent and old fashioned and creepy looking. Set a bit apart from other houses, and with a big white balcony on the front where one could imagine seeing ghosts walking on summer nights. One day when it is less wet, I will see if I can get a good picture. _
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04:28:55 PM, Wednesday 18 May 2005

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Mira-Mira asks:

1. What's the weirdest combination of foods you've ever tried?

To be honest, I don't really know. It's hard to know what a weird combination of foods is to other people. When was younger I used to be really into proving myself through dares, and I ate a rather disgusting bowl of mashed up hamburger, mustard, mayonnaise, ketchup, milkshake (chocolate and vanilla), french fries, and pickle relish, That was on a dare from my cousins. I think I got five dollars for it. I remember James used to think I was crazy for eating taquitos and junior mints at the same time, too. When I was in France I thought it would be weird to have a pizza with potatoes and cream on it instead of tomato sauce and cheese, but it turned out to be very tasty and not weird at all. I didn't try the pizza Rebecca's father ordered when he took us out though. I suspect that one would definitely have been weird. it had foie gras and lettuce on it along with tomato sauce and cheese and some other meats and veggies. Looked pretty awful to me, but taste is a funny thing.

2. What the hell is all this Uri Boretchka business? Can you give me both the amusing story version (which I've heard and want to hear again) and the actual unfunny real life version?

Uri Borechka is the bisexual psychic unicorn from Russia who loves The Cock. The Cock is Uri's sidekick, a dyslexic anglophone with beautiful plumage (sometimes referred to as The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcock). Uri was born on a small farm in rural Russia. The farmer was so taken with vodka that he didn't really notice the hearts on Uri's ass, nor the horn on his nose. His wife came up with the name Uri Borechka, Borechka being short for Boris, and later wanted to name their baby Borechka, too. There's a comic about that somewhere involving the line, "Vell, ve can't very vell call heem Borscht!" Anyway, eventually Uri left the farm and became a superhero, international playboy, and all around Good Little Horse (Haroshaya Lashatka). He smites evildoers with his wisdom and charm ("Person who does not like cats must be gone to potato patch to dig, dig, Dig!", "Like we say in Russia, 'Arr, up yours, [name of mean person]!'") Wherever there is trouble Uri is often at hand to save the day, and The Cock will come, too.



As for how this all started, one day when my friend Cait was visiting me in Frace, we went into the Un Seul Prix 2 Euros store on the hunt for bizarre items and found a display of framed pictures among which Uri stood out, unique among boring landscapes. Something about him called to us. Maybe it was the lionesque tail, the elephantine feet, the horn on his nose, or the aura of omniscience and compassion that radiated from his startlingly blue eye. We couldn't pinpoint it, but we knew we had to have him, and once we got him we knew he needed a properly divine name and back story. We understood that it was our sacred duty to spread the good news about our new idol far and wide because, just look at him! How can you not be overcome with good cheer when you see his jaunty pose, his three lush eyelashes, the saucy way he chews his wheat?

Right, right, you say, but how the hell did we make up this particular story? Well, as it happens Cait's parents are from Iraq and the Ukraine, but they settled in Germany when Cait was but a wee bairn, and at home they speak a mash of Russian and German. My conversations with Cait occasionally turn to linguistics lite topics, and one of the ones we'd been discussing frequently around the time we found Uri was Russian nicknames. I was surprised to hear that Svetlana was "short" for Sveta, and started trying to work out other nicknames, ultimately ending up with the suggestion of Borechka for Boris, which Cait said was ridiculous, so I said the thing about Borscht, which was a terrible pun, but it still makes both of us laugh (Incidentally, Cait's mother later said that Borechka could actually be a nickname for Boris, and she thought the Borscht joke was really funny). So one thing led to another, as things often do, and suddenly through the magic of immature double entendres and a magnificent amount of sleep deprivation we had a whole series of comics, advice columns, theme songs, and cosmetic lines planned around Uri Borechka. Awww, Uri.

Also, if you call him a unicorn, remember to do so in a Scottish accent.

3. Have you and Moss ever combined and then anagrammatized your names? If so, did you get any amusing and/or printable results?

I don't think we've ever tried in the past. I just did now on a couple of generators and didn't come up with anything exciting. I also can't remember where the good generator is. Bah.

4. Which is scarier, hubris or mediocrity?

Both are dangerous, and I think they go hand in hand a lot of the time. I often notice that writers who get to be big names end up getting a lot of stuff published that they couldn't have sold as no-names. John Grisham's Skipping Christmas, for instance. No way he could have gotten that in any sort of wide circulation without all those crime drama bestsellers under his belt. More than just getting previously unpublishable stuff to sell though, I find that a lot of bestselling authors get their stuff to be edited a lot less (or not at all, as in the case of Anne Rice). While the author having more weighty opinions about how his or her work should read can be nice, it can also make for final drafts that aren't as good as they could be. There's a point at which authors can say, "Oh, I'm officially good and popular now, so anything I write will be fine." That's a trap I hope I never fall into (though I would be lying if I said I didn't hope I was one day lucky enough to get to the point where falling into a trap like that would be possible), because it can leave you with mediocre work and an inflated ego, but I can see how easy it would be to get there under the right circumstances. Ultimately I thnk it is important to do what you can with your life, not to stop working to be better, but also not to beat yourself up for not being good enough (which I do think you are prone to, Miss Mira). If I never really make it anywhere with writing, that will be okay so long as I keep working and improving. If I do make it somewhere with writing, that will be great as long as I keep working and improving. It's personal achievement that matters, I think, not comparisons with others.

5. I want to be less of a dick to people. How should I start?

I'd really like to hear about a situation in which you actually were a dick to someone, Mira-Mira. Honestly now.

If you'd like me to ask you five questions, leave a comment, and I'll leave five questions in the comments for you. _
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04:07:16 PM, Monday 16 May 2005

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I managed to shave 4 minutes off my time for the same route I did Thursday. Didn't intend to, but once I got going I kept building momentum and even threw in a couple of sprints just because.

I feel very naked in this cool max outfit I have, capri pants I bought yesterday (on sale for 12 dollars!) that flare out at the calf, but hug the hips and thighs tighter than hippies hug trees. The shirt isn't much better, but at least it's a t-shirt and not a glorified bra --I heart the men's department. Anyway, no one looks at me funny; most of the people who bother to look at all seem pleased to see someone getting exercise. A few murderous looks from women who imagine themselves obese and feel guilty for not being the exerciser, and a few lewd stares from the lewd-staring men, but they stare lewdly no matter what I wear. Can't tell if it's due to my chest or just to my gender. Probably a bit of both.

The best part of today's walk, though, was the cock (rooster? Rooster seems such a silly word. Rooster rooster rooster... Are you giggling yet? Say it out loud three times and see) standing self-importantly in front of the car dealership. I felt certain he must be the rightful owner, and that only a very lucky few might be allowed to go in and walk amongst his GMCs. He kept eye contact until I was past, establishing dominance, but when I came back on the second half of my walk, he'd abandoned his sentry post and was pecking at the bushes on the opposite side of the driveway. _
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10:19:38 PM, Saturday 14 May 2005

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I just walked 3.16 miles in 54 minutes. This means my pace is roughly 17 minutes per mile. If I could average this pace for an entire 26.2 mile marathon, my time would be roughly 7 hours and 25 minutes.

In an ideal world I would be able to finish a marathon in 5 hours at a pace of 11.5 minutes per mile. Realistically, I'd be happy to finish in 6 hours at a pace of 13.75 minutes per mile. Either way, I have a long way to go before 9 October. I'll be interested to see how far-fetched my goals are (or aren't). _
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05:29:25 PM, Thursday 12 May 2005

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The photos Moss took at croquet (and a few from Boston) are up in the Croquet 2005 section of the gallery. _
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07:16:47 PM, Tuesday 10 May 2005

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Friendster is such a giant time suck. Must tear self away. Must:

*Write letter finally

*Assemble packages two prizes and a long-promised just for fun package

*Pick up mystery package It was a box full of prizes from the Commie Pinko Short Story Contest! Eeee!

*Walk (economy: 6x1) I am going to have to invest in some cooler clothes. These pants are just not cut out for summer walking.

*Upload photos And captioned them.

*Work on death essay Not done yet, but progress is progress.

*Do dishes And cleaned the stovetop before making potato soup for lunch. Mm, potato soup.

I pwned this list today. Totally makes up for yesterday. I should probably stop saying totally so much. Hmm. _
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02:11:35 PM, Tuesday 10 May 2005

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It totally was! 4.4 and pretty close. I don't remember feeling an earthquake in California since before I went to France. Neat. _
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06:45:23 PM, Monday 9 May 2005

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Whoa, was that an earthquake just now? _
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06:38:39 PM, Monday 9 May 2005

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Things what need doing:

*Strawberry prep Slicing up strawberries, I want you to know!

*Death essay

*Photo uploads

*Work on Fifty Photgraphs

*Finish letter you meant to finish yesterday but didn't get around to

*Stay inside by the glow of the warm dvd player and have a cup of tea, pleased that today is your off day and you don't have to walk in this (even heavier than yesterday's) rain.

*Maybe bake those cookies today instead?

Okay, so clearly this was my day of sloth. That's cool. _
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04:46:39 PM, Monday 9 May 2005

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Okay, public accountability, don't fail me now.

*Finish and post Musemuggers story Final wordcount: 2,438. Fantasy drivel, but it's complete.

*Finish letter

*Walk: 2 hours and 15 minutes, easy, yes, even if it is bloody pouring out there Well, close enough, anyway. I look like someting very wet and tired now.

*Return video And picked up more fluff. Hurrah!

*Drop letters in mail

*Call Madre (try to actually get her and not machine this time) Talking to her now. What? Don't look at me like that. Nothing wrong with multitasking.

*Bit more on death essay, then post new challenge

*Would it kill you to take the trash out? Honestly? No, It clearly wouldn't. Or at least it didn't this time. Dun dun dunn...

*Okay, at this point you deserve to veg. Why not bake cookies while you're at it? _
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05:29:49 PM, Sunday 8 May 2005

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Also, I am at work and the phones are slow. Anyone who wishes to entertain me via gmail is more than welcome. I'll be here until 1pm Pacific. _
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11:40:11 AM, Sunday 8 May 2005

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Did I mention that the dresses finally arrived on Friday? We had to ask them to re-send the order becaus apparently the first one got lost. They're quite nice, but the one that looks like the one Tori wore at Croquet is too big, and I think just not generally cut to fit a person with my body shape (because the one Tori wore fit me everywhere but the chest). Another one of them is too long, and I am trying to figure out how to fix that because the hem is one of the prettiest parts of it, so I don't want to cut it off. The third seems to fit well and look nice, but it's a halter dress, and I will have to figure out some strategic undergarment placements if I plan to wear it anywhere. A lot of work cut out for me, but at least I have them now. _
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11:31:14 AM, Sunday 8 May 2005

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Moss, making a salad as I crossed things off my to do list, suddenly said, "Oh no. Brain, why do you do this?" Naturally I had to ask what he'd thought of, and the answer came in the form of a song:

Chim chiminy,

Chim chiminy

Chim chim chirizzle,

A chimney sweep's lucky,

He's lucky fo' rizzle

I couldn't very well not blog it. could I?

Also, this reminds me that when we went to the Unitarian Universalist church last Sunday, the reverend was talking about wedding anniversaries and appropriate gifts. He asked the children, who were all gathered up front if they knew what people got for their sixtieth anniversary, and I think one of them actually answered diamonds (though how they knew that was beyond me, as I certainly am not up on my wedding anniversary gift traditions). Anyway, said the reverend, "Yes, that's right! And in the hip-hop community, that might be called bling-bling!" I found that moment alone worth the ten dollar church cover charge suggested donation. _
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12:35:13 AM, Saturday 7 May 2005

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It is time to stop blankly staring into space and:

*Finish that damnable story for Musemuggers Not finished, but up 400 words, so we'll call that a day.

*Overcome your fear of contact with landscapers and do some yoga on the deck I think maybe a yoga mat would be a good investment. Deck is all treacheroous and splintery. How yuppie am I? I also used the hoop.

*Return the video

*Go to Starbucks and write letters One finished and another started. Not bad for a day when my head felt like a swarm of confused butterflies.

Your higher consciousness commands you! _
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06:30:26 PM, Friday 6 May 2005

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Dear Liz Phair,

Why must you insist upon breaking my heart again and again? Why can I not stop expecting better of you? I know you lost a lot of people with Whitechocolatespaceegg, but I really love a lot of the songs on that album. "Uncle Alvarez" is brilliant. Why did you slide down into a spiral of Disneyfication? I can handle it much better from Lindsay Lohan because I never heard her do anything different. You, though? You used to write songs about more than repetitive popstar relationship angst. You used to write songs that were musically interesting. You used to tell stories. I miss you, and I can't seem to let go of a torturous hope that next time will be better even though I have heard the horror of your next album's promo tracks. Why are you doing this?

Yours in Doomed Allegiance,

Julia _
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01:17:48 PM, Friday 6 May 2005

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To Do:

*DMV renewal form Wonder if it will get here before the old one expires.

*Cleverly Named update

*Musemuggers story well, a 300 word start anyway. Having severe lack of focus issues today. Want a nap more than anything, but instead will go do packages and walk.

*Post cards G-pops and a couple more. Not all of them, but his was the most important.

*Prizes

*Packages Katherine and Caprina Lynn. Have several more in the queue, but that's a start anyway, and they're in the post now, so that's good.

*Walk 30-40 mins easy Kept having to ditch my glasses because they proved useless in the downpour. Some might say i ought to use an umbrella, but I scoff at such sensible suggestions.

*Return video and got some mindless fluff to veg out to.

*Post office 5 items sent. 2 Packages, 2 postcards, one driver license renewal form.

*Dishes _
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02:46:09 PM, Wednesday 4 May 2005

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The CDs that Moss and I made together for this latest blogswap, Take Me Back and Euclid's Elements, are up with commentary in the blogswap database. If you didn't get a copy and want one, lemme know and I will send you one. _
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06:07:26 PM, Tuesday 3 May 2005

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A few minutes ago on our way out of the grocery store...

Me:You know what I liked about the plane, though?

Moss: What?

Me: The Oreos.

Moss: ...

Me: I really like Oreos. Sometimes I forget that.

Moss: That was a really perfect example of something you'd say when you're really tired.

Must stay awake for another hour and a half. Urge to sleep rising. Must not give in. _
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10:33:35 PM, Monday 2 May 2005

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Home again and in a state of total zombification. The trip was lovely. Good to see so many friends and museums and cities. I think Boston may be emerging as my favorite East Coast city (possibly my favorite U.S. city?). I am not going to rehash exciting trip highlights becuase it is too much data for my poor, battered brain to sort through, and I can't quite convince myself that anyone would find it interesting enough to make it worth the trouble. I reserve the right to change my mind later when I am less dazed. _
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07:08:42 PM, Monday 2 May 2005

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site & script courtesy of Moss