"Avoid contact with any prairie dogs or Gambian giant rats that appear to be ill -- they may be missing patches of fur, have a visible rash on the skin, or have discharge from the eyes or nose."
_
respond?
(4)
10:33:49 AM,
Thursday 12 June 2003
-
"He's sixteen, what he's gonna do, take her away on his skateboard?"
_
respond?
(4)
10:14:38 AM,
Monday 9 June 2003
-
"Relax, would you? We have seventy dollars and a pair of girls underpants. We're safe as kittens."
_
respond?
(4)
01:45:13 PM,
Sunday 8 June 2003
-
"I chucked eggs at Castro's doorway, I once puked on the king of Norway
for eighteen days I roamed Japan, choking little kittens with my bare hands
Stuck my gum on Venus De Milo, did Zimbabwe shooting rhinos
ran nude straight through Nepal, spit my chew in Taj Mahal"
_
respond?
(1)
01:36:45 PM,
Sunday 8 June 2003
-
"you were fresh off the boat from virginia
i had a year in new york city under my belt
we met in a dream
we were both 19
i remember where we were standing
i remember how it felt
2 little girls growing out of their training bras
this little girl breaks furniture, this little girl breaks laws"
_
respond?
(2)
01:22:25 PM,
Sunday 8 June 2003
-
"Good morning, Son
In twenty years from now
Maybe we'll both sit down and have a few beers
And I can tell you 'bout today
And how I picked you up and everything changed"
_
respond?
(2)
01:16:32 PM,
Sunday 8 June 2003
-
Geraldine, Geraldine,
Do you remember where
The willows used to screen
The water flowing fair?
The mill-stream's banks of green
Where first our love begun,
When you were seventeen,
And I was twenty-one?
Geraldine, Geraldine,
Do you remember how
From th' old bridge we would lean--
The bridge that's broken now--
To watch the minnows sheen,
And the ripples of the Run,
When you were seventeen,
And I was twenty-one?
Geraldine, Geraldine
Do you remember too
The old beech-tree, between
Whose roots the wild flowers grew?
Where oft we met at e'en,
When stars were few or none,
When you were seventeen,
And I was twenty-one?
Geraldine, Geraldine,
The bark has grown around
The names I cut therein,
And the truelove-knot that bound;
The love-knot, clear and clean,
I carved when our love begun,
When you were seventeen,
And I was twenty-one?
Geraldine, Geraldine,
The roof of the farmhouse gray
Is fallen and mossy green;
Its rafters rot away:
The old path scarce is seen
Where oft our feet would run,
When you were seventeen,
And I was twenty-one.
Geraldine, Geraldine,
Through each old tree and bough
The lone winds cry and keen--
The place is haunted now,
With ghosts of what-has-been,
With dreams of love-long-done,
When you were seventeen,
And I was twenty-one.
Geraldine, Geraldine,
There, in your world of wealth,
There, where you move a queen,
Broken in heart and health,
Does there ever rise a scene
Of days, your soul would shun,
When you were seventeen,
And I was twenty-one?
Geraldine, Geraldine,
Here, 'mid the rose and rue,
Would God that your grave were green,
And I were lying too!
Here on the hill, I mean,
Where oft we laughed i' the sun,
When you were seventeen,
And I was twenty-one.
_
respond?
(1)
01:04:35 PM,
Sunday 8 June 2003
-
"Oh, oh the Bryant Street Theatre?
It’s right up that ladder lady!
Welcome to the Bryant Street Theatre
Have a fruit roll up
Aren’t you gonna eat it?
Oh fer Christ's sake!"
_
respond?
(6)
03:57:49 AM,
Monday 2 June 2003
-
"Oh, and one other really nifty thing that happened today: When I drove to my mom and dad's house to get my birth certificate, I saw a sticker on one of those diamond-shaped, reflective yellow signs that means 'Don't drive here or you'll regret it.'
It's our Thought For Today:
'You are a beautiful person.'
When I read that, it put a huge smile on my face, filled me with joy, and I said, out loud, 'Thank you, sign!'
Awesome :)"
_
respond?
(7)
02:58:55 AM,
Monday 2 June 2003
-
"Dropped out of school when I was 22
What can I do to satisfy you
I'm a hooligan, yeah
Won't go to school again
I mean you know how cool I am
I'm a hooligan, I am a hooligan
Won't go to school again, won't go, no
I'm a hooligan
I mean like I'm so bad
Won't go to school again, yeah, ha, ha
I'm a hooligan
And like every chick in town loves me
Won't go to school again, won't go, no
Nobody's gonna pull me down"
_
respond?
(1)
02:12:32 AM,
Monday 2 June 2003
-
"What do you get from a glut of TV?
A pain in the neck and an IQ of three.
Why don't you try simply reading a book?
Or could you just not bear to look?
You'll get no(x4)
You'll get no commercials"
_
respond?
(6)
01:30:37 PM,
Sunday 1 June 2003
-
"Buried how long?"
The answer was always the same: "Almost eighteen years."
"You had abandoned all hope of being dug out?"
"Long ago."
"You know that you are recalled to life?"
"They tell me so."
"I hope you care to live?"
"I can't say."
"Shall I show her to you? Will you come and see her?"
The answers to this question were various and contradictory. Sometimes the broken reply was, "Wait! It would kill me if I saw her too soon." Sometimes, it was given in a tender rain of tears, and then it was, "Take me to her." Sometimes it was staring and bewildered, and then it was, "I don't know her. I don't understand."
_
respond?
(8)
01:16:10 PM,
Sunday 1 June 2003
-
"Sky writing with the sweep of a flashlight
I'm driving over that way
Some pot of gold, it's just a carpeting store on opening day."
_
respond?
(5)
01:06:53 PM,
Sunday 1 June 2003
-
"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures; He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: He leadeth me in the paths of righteouness for His name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for thou art with me: thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."
_
respond?
(12)
11:17:25 AM,
Sunday 1 June 2003
-
"Section 1. The right of citizens of the United States to vote in any primary or other election for President or Vice President, for electors for President or Vice President, or for Senator or Representative in Congress, shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or any State by reason of failure to pay any poll tax or other tax.
Section 2. The Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation."
_
respond?
(3)
11:07:31 AM,
Sunday 1 June 2003
-
"Like a worm on a hook,
like a knight from some old fashioned book
I have saved all my ribbons for thee."
_
respond?
(3)
11:03:29 AM,
Sunday 1 June 2003
-
"Once again, Things that could have been brought to my attention YESTERDAY!"
_
respond?
(6)
11:00:43 AM,
Sunday 1 June 2003
-
"Although I didn't long believe the story told to me by Mother--that they had found me as a baby in an oyster-shell, and a greedy customer had almost eaten me for lunch--for eighteen years I never doubted my own oysterish sympathies, never looked far beyond my father's kitchen for occupation, or for love."
_
respond?
(5)
10:54:24 AM,
Sunday 1 June 2003
-
"And... and... and then a PIRATE jumps out of the closet! And... and he's a pirate king! No! No, he's a pirate QUEEN! Get it? Get it? A pirate queen in the CLOSET? Huh, Milton? Get it? And... and... and he says, 'AVAST me dARRRR-lings.' Get it? He says 'dARRR-lings'! And then... and then..."
_
respond?
(6)
02:28:04 AM,
Saturday 31 May 2003
-
"Choose a game from your game library
Test your skill and test your strategy
Hand and eye coordination
Endless hours of entertainment"
_
respond?
(8)
10:41:07 PM,
Friday 30 May 2003
-
"Drink down a lot of Basil Hayden
Get kicked out when I can't see straight and
What an island to be on
Under the neon"
_
respond?
(3)
10:29:02 PM,
Friday 30 May 2003
-
"I don't think I should like America."
"I suppose because we have no ruins and no curiosities," said Virginia satirically.
"No ruins! no curiosities!" answered the Ghost; "you have your navy and your manners."
_
respond?
(7)
10:00:51 PM,
Friday 30 May 2003
-
"Not beautiful you understand, but you have a certain prettiness, different from my other heads. I believe I'll lock you in the tower for a few years until your head is ready. And then I'll take it."
"I believe you will NOT!"
_
respond?
(17)
08:02:23 PM,
Friday 30 May 2003
-
"Sometimes I got so bored of trying to touch her breast that I would try to touch her between her legs. It was like trying to borrow a dollar, getting turned down, and asking for 50 grand instead."
_
respond?
(4)
07:18:34 PM,
Friday 30 May 2003
-
"By night we linger'd on the lawn,
For underfoot the herb was dry;
And genial warmth; and o'er the sky
The silvery haze of summer drawn;
And calm that let the tapers burn
Unwavering: not a cricket chirr'd:
The brook alone far-off was heard,
And on the board the fluttering urn:
And bats went round in fragrant skies,
And wheel'd or lit the filmy shapes
That haunt the dusk, with ermine capes
And woolly breasts and beaded eyes;"
_
respond?
(3)
06:52:24 PM,
Friday 30 May 2003
-
"And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and its not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire."
_
respond?
(6)
04:40:08 PM,
Friday 30 May 2003
-
"You people talk about the living and the dead as if they were two mutually exclusive categories. As if you can not have a river that is also a road, or a song that is also a color."
"You can't," said Shadow. "Can you?" The echoes whispered his words back at him from across the pool.
"What you have to remember," said Mr. Ibis, testily, "is that life and death are different sides of the same coin. Like the heads and tails of a quarter."
"And if I had a double-headed quarter?"
"You don't."
_
respond?
(5)
01:42:43 PM,
Friday 30 May 2003
-
"Bees in the car! Bees everywhere! God, they're huge! They're ripping my flesh off! Save yourself! Don't be the hero! They're huge and they're sting crazy! Your firearms are useless against them!"
_
respond?
(2)
11:51:04 AM,
Friday 30 May 2003
-
"Person who does not like cats must be gone to potato patch to dig, Dig, DIG!"
_
respond?
(3)
01:55:33 PM,
Thursday 29 May 2003
-
Rhododendron
Is a nice flower
Evergreen
It lasts forever
But it can´t beat Strand power
_
respond?
(3)
01:48:26 PM,
Thursday 29 May 2003
-
"There are ghosts in the basement!"
"This basement?"
"Of course this basement! What is it with you people? If it was the basement next door I wouldn't give a shit, would I?"
and
"Did I say there's a petting zoo in the basement? NO there are ghosts in the basement Arthur!"
_
respond?
(11)
01:30:49 PM,
Thursday 29 May 2003
-
Old Rawley was a good orchard man who'd planted excellent stock. But anyone could have foreseen that his daughter stood to inherit, since he had no sons. That was trouble that Garnett's father should have smelled: a daughter away at school in the 1950s. Before you could say Jack Robinson she'd be back here parading around in loud clothes, having an illegitimate child with mental deficiencies, and making up her mind to grow apples with no chemicals whatsoever, in flat defiance of the laws of nature.
_
respond?
(7)
12:33:00 PM,
Thursday 29 May 2003
-
"Of course there must be lots of magic in the world," he said wisely one day, "but people don't know what it is like or how to make it. Perhaps the beginning is just to say nice things are going to happen until you make them happen."
_
respond?
(4)
12:29:11 PM,
Thursday 29 May 2003
-
"And if the cloud bursts, thunder in your ear
You shout and no one seems to hear
And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes
I'll see you on the dark side of the moon"
_
respond?
(3)
02:11:34 PM,
Wednesday 28 May 2003
-
"Essene & Chinese birth controls must reduce birth or Easter Isle type
overpopulation destroys God's Spaceship Earth! God's law prevents all
conception below pH3. Therefore, Essene contracepted for 400 years with
rosehips, pH2! So, absolute clean, apply vaseline oil, butter or cream,
insert teaspoonful juicy lemon pulp, pH2. O.K.!"
_
respond?
(5)
07:19:56 AM,
Wednesday 28 May 2003
-
We got a call to write a song about the war in the Gulf,
But we shouldn't hurt anyone's feelings.
So we tried, and gave up, cuz there was no such song,
But the trying was very revealing:
What makes a person so poisonous righteous,
That they'd think less of anyone, who just disagrees?
She's just a pacifist, he's just a patriot.
If I said you were crazy, would you have to fight me?
Fighters for liberty,
Fighters for power,
Fighters for longer turns in the shower.
Don't tell me I can't fight 'cause I'll punch out your lights
And history seems to agree
That I would fight you for me.
So we read, and we watched
All the specially selected news,
And we learned so much more about the good guys.
"Won't you stand by the flag?"
Was the question unasked,
"Won't you join in and fight with the allies?"
What could we say? We're only 25 years old,
With 25 sweet summers, and hot fires in the cold.
This kind of life makes that violence unthinkable.
We'd like to play hockey, have kids and grow old.
Fighters for Texaco,
Fighters for power,
Fighters for longer turns in the shower.
Don't tell me I can't fight 'cause I'll punch out your lights,
And history seems to agree
That I would fight you for me,
That us would fight them for we.
He's just a peacenik,
And she's just a war-hawk.
That's where the beach was,
That's where the sea.
What could we say? We're only 25 years old,
And history seems to agree that I would fight you for me,
That us would fight them for we.
Is that how it always will be?
_
respond?
(2)
07:13:42 AM,
Wednesday 28 May 2003
-
site & script courtesy of Moss