My cousin is an archaeologist who specializes in Viking Textiles, so I'm sure she got a jump on the news (though she obviously didn't see fit to share it with her Stateside relatives, hmph!), but now the whole world can partake of that hot, hot bosom-brooch action. Exciting, innit?
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(2)
08:45:22 AM,Monday 3 March 2008
I just did four loads of laundry, right, and I dried two of them and brought them upstairs and then 45 minutes later I came down for the other two, and they were sitting there on the laundry room table... folded. As neat as you please, every single article. I sort of jumped back and gaped and said, "Someone's folded my laundry!" And the tiny old man standing next to me sorting his socks said, "My wife." So I gibbered and thanked him and asked if there was anything I could do for them and offered him the rest of my laundry quarters and he waved me away so I put my gloriously folded laundry into my sea bag and went back upstairs. I'm just... I mean, how do I rate? Today is a good day.
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(6)
02:33:25 PM,Saturday 1 March 2008
I have a brilliant idea that will make us all a million dollars.
The Chanteycizer!
Who's sexier than a sailor? Those tight, lean biceps, that cast-iron grip, those beautiful briny bow-legs? And how did they get their dreamy physiques, back before nuclear power? That's right! Ropes, spit, and good clean close-harmony singing!
The Chanteycizer is a convenient all-in-one exercise machine designed to give you the full body workout of a 19th century seaman. Heave on the compact, counter-weighted halyard to define your delts, trot around the patented tangle-free central capstan for unbeatable cardio, rip your abs on the simulated bilge pump, and shimmy up and down the adjustable ceiling-height foretop -- all in the privacy of your home, while bawling out your favorite maritime classics!
Sign up for the Chantey-a-Month DVD subscription service, or try one of our popular Chanteycizer classes and add your voice to the chorus of salty tars who've made Chanteycizing the nation's hottest new fitness craze. Tailor your workout to shape your body like the sea dog you've always wanted to be -- DVDs come in Whaler, Merchant Marine, Royal Navy, Privateer, and Cabin Boy. Keelhaul your flab away in just minutes a day!
Disassemble for discreet storage under your bed, or leave intact for a one-of-a-kind conversation piece. Low, low price includes 100% hemp rigging, mainmast (with optional deluxe "gold" doubloon), authentically salt-tarnished brass hardware, and stylish Chanteycizer-brand bell bottoms -- our gift for you to keep, even if you decide to return the Chanteycizer after your 30-day free trial.
There's nothing like a Chantey to take the waist out of your panty[TM].
Call now!
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(6)
04:20:19 PM,Thursday 28 February 2008
Wow, I'm a complete loser who's just wasted the last four hours on the internet to no good purpose. Go me! Bleh.
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(2)
01:58:32 PM,Wednesday 27 February 2008
PROFESSOR OF THE CLASS BEFORE MINE: So this kid walks up to me and says, "Do you know what I want to be when I grow up? A bard!" What am I supposed to say to that?
T.A.: Well, just remind him that "bard" spelled backwards is "drab".
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(1)
01:46:02 PM,Tuesday 26 February 2008
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(16)
06:26:45 PM,Monday 25 February 2008
Stenocaptioning Error Causes Entire World To Explode In Fiery Doom, News at 11:00.
For @*#&'s sake. A warning to be careful in defining easily misstroked short forms. But even after Magic Rat and Blue in Bush Country (bless 'em, whoever they are, for knowing something about steno) repeat over and over why the mistake might have happened, the conspiracy types refuse to believe it and are still out for blood. Lord love a duck.
via DeafDC.
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(6)
03:38:41 PM,Thursday 21 February 2008
Someone has uploaded free mp3s of the original audiobook of Neuromancer, read by William Gibson, music by U2. These tapes were my first introduction to Cyberpunk, back when. It starts out endearingly cheesy (his voice is just so edgy and intense and incongruously Virginian), but somewhere along the way the iconic perfection of the story reels you in. Good to fall asleep and dream to.
"Don't you know he does it in the dark?"_
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(7)
12:50:25 PM,Wednesday 20 February 2008
I was in the post office picking up a package, and next to the package window was a little white button labeled "BELL/TIMBRE". I felt a sudden, overwhelming urge to add a single diagonal line to the label, transforming it (more or less) into one of my all-time favorite words. But I didn't.
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(1)
12:47:22 PM,Tuesday 19 February 2008
"Okay, I'm glad" came out "Okay, I'm glkjblkwoieuorui".
Yeah. I have no freaking clue.
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(3)
04:44:19 PM,Thursday 14 February 2008
"nomenclature" came out "gnome clasp".
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(2)
06:02:26 PM,Wednesday 13 February 2008
Oh, man. A wearable computing conference I might plausibly be able to go to. The crazy part of me wants to write and submit a paper on the mobile applications of steno, but the slacky part of me is warning that it probably ain't gonna happen. Still and all. Hm...
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(5)
05:22:46 PM,Monday 11 February 2008
After revising the Comprehensive Bible, for which he turned down payment, Sir Isaac came up with his ideas for a new system of shorthand. In 1837 he published a booklet entitled "Stenographic Soundhand". It boasted just two pages of engraving and 12 pages of text, sold for four pence and had an edition run of 3,000. Most of the copies, the article states, were given away.
Giving his work away appeared to be the catalyst for a widespread uptake in the new shorthand system. Many of the schoolmasters who received it for free would perhaps not have paid for it, being of limited means.
This guy isn't actually the "Inventor of Stenography"; there have been various forms of pen shorthand dating back to Ancient Rome. But his system did gain quite a foothold in the 19th and early 20th century until it and its main rival, Gregg Shorthand, were supplanted by the machine shorthand invented by Ward Stone Ireland in 1910. Pen shorthand didn't require any special equipment, but machine shorthand was far quicker and more accurate.
Still, I think there's a lot to learn from this example. The number of machine shorthand users has declined greatly since the age of the secretary, as ordinary people obtained computers and learned to type their own damn selves. The high cost of the equipment and especially of the software has prevented anyone without designs on a court reporting career from picking up the skill. But if we make the software free and the machinery cheap... Well, a girl can dream.
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(2)
12:07:30 PM,Saturday 9 February 2008
I just spent $29 on Sea Chanteys. 75 Sea Chanteys, to be precise, which works out to approximately 39 cents per chantey. I maintain this to be an eminently economical purchase and I apologize for nothing.
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(4)
11:36:04 AM,Friday 8 February 2008
Say what you will about me wasting my life on the internet, but I don't know how I got through 27 years without knowing about this thing.
Via Bird and Moon, via WTF_Nature. (Click with caution. You never know what they're gonna put up there, but it ain't always pretty.)
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(2)
07:46:15 PM,Tuesday 5 February 2008
Someone I don't know on the internet gives a good run-down of reasons why I'm voting for Obama tomorrow.
Via RM.
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(3)
05:35:40 PM,Monday 4 February 2008
