Bloglet, the gentleman's mock turtle soup -- Moss made it sweeter than myrrh ash and dhoup
In fact, just for that, T.I.A.I.L.W.: Giudetta Pasta.
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(2)
10:09:01 AM,Friday 7 November 2003
I'm just itching for an excuse to use "situation" instead of "house".
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11:51:51 PM,Thursday 6 November 2003
An emperor's catamite and a Byzantine saint. Perfect!
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(4)
12:02:49 AM,Wednesday 5 November 2003
Glurgh. I'm just like Lovecraft, without the scary. {hangs head}
What I need is a big-word-scrubber-outer.
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(6)
01:53:13 PM,Tuesday 4 November 2003
You know what? Fine. Screw you, Alexander Barclay! I'll write my own 16th-century-style moralizing couplet suitable for inscribing on a fountain. Ho.
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04:59:19 PM,Monday 3 November 2003
The founder of Queer Opera Punks posted this some time ago, but I'm sorry. I cannot. stop. laughing.
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(3)
11:15:59 PM,Sunday 2 November 2003
Neither the honey nor the bee for me.
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(2)
08:15:39 PM,Sunday 2 November 2003
Also last night, while looking at the scads of kids wearing those freaky little neon blinking tooth covers that seem to be all the rage this season, I got a flash of the Next Big Thing: LED Tooth Displays. Combining the convenience of instant messaging on a noisy dance floor with the illumined brilliance of a dazzling smile. A discreet thigh-mounted keypad, a wireless receiver tucked under the tongue, a text-friendly aspect ratio of anywhere from 4:2 (demure) up to 16:2 (Tom Baker), and your choice of hundreds of fresh, hot colors! This could make a million, I tell you. Just you wait.
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(4)
04:17:05 PM,Sunday 2 November 2003
"can't spell fuck" bankhead
Results 1 - 5 of about 9
"can't spell fuck" parker
Results 1 - 10 of about 34.
I threw my leper costume in the trash last night, so tonight I had to rig up a costume in a hurry in order to go to the Lambda dance. But the only interesting things I had handy were my brother's old military school cadet hat and my sword cane. I was The Drum-Major of the Dead.
I discovered that I'm really good at doing that maraschino-stem knot thing with my mouth.
Untried pickup line of the evening: "So, are you anyone in particular, or just a blue-haired stud in a Zoot Suit?"
And then I saw a very delectable brownshirt on video. I can't help it. It's the suspenders and the forelock. Shame, shame.
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(7)
05:22:54 AM,Sunday 2 November 2003
Hm. This week's opera is The Little Prince. Will it be good, or will it be suck? I have no way of knowing. And I might be too sleepy to find out. But if any of you guys are inclined to listen, I'd like to hear whatcha think.
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(8)
10:17:02 AM,Saturday 1 November 2003
Thank God for my job. I don't think I'd ever have had a chance at doing this otherwise. Four nights a week without internet, eight hours at a time. I only wound up writing for around three hours last night (I was dead tired and Aliens was on... c'mon, I had to stick around at least for the scene where Vasquez does pull-ups! Mmmm...space marine biceps...), but I got around 2100 words! Sure, it's dreadful, but it's mine, damnit, and anything's better than empty kvetching. I was wondering the other day: if you were able to ask the Great Writers, the real immortals, what they'd have done if it had turned out they hadn't had the knack -- if they couldn't put a sentence together, if their vocabularies were stunted, if they had no ear for dialogue; in short, if they were born lousy writers -- whether they'd have written anyway or not. Of course, it's contrary-to-fact hypothetical flimflam. The contradiction's built right in. But I still wish I could hear how they'd answer it, each of 'em.
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10:09:48 AM,Saturday 1 November 2003
BOO!_
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(12)
09:14:34 AM,Friday 31 October 2003
[my mother telling William exitedly that this new theory about the origin of proteins ties in directly with a documentary she saw the other day on PBS about Einstein and the Unified Field Theory because, after all, they're both about "origins", right?]
[me trying not to laugh so hard my spleen ruptures]
My Mom: "She's laughing!"
My Brother: "Yes, but she's not laughing with you, she's laughing at you."
My Mom: "No she's not! She's laughing OF me!"
Me: [convulsive hysterics]
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12:04:02 AM,Thursday 30 October 2003
"I am writing to convey the exciting news that I have conceived of a novel hypothesis that may explain the origin of life as we know it, and further, that the hypothesis may be testable in a computational way initially, and subsequently, experimentally."
I probably shouldn't quote any more of the message without getting his permission first, not that I understand anything he's talking about anyway, but damn. My brother. Damn.
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(4)
08:54:24 PM,Wednesday 29 October 2003
In preparation for NaNoWriMo (eek! eek! less than a week!), I am now printing out Neil's marvelous HTML rendering of Edward Gorey's The Unstrung Harp. I advise all of you intrepid souls to do the same, if you don't have a copy of your own. There is nothing more inspiring.
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(4)
06:06:52 PM,Tuesday 28 October 2003
Um, interestingly enough, there actually is a gourmet-dog-biscuit shop in this town, and, by all appearances, it's doing extremely well. Heh.
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(4)
06:00:02 PM,Tuesday 28 October 2003
I sent off most of the blogswap CDs today (there are still some addresses I didn't have when I went to the post office, so they'll get theirs sometime later), and, since the tracklist is finally out of my hands, I figured now's the time for commentary. Woo, commentary.
1. Carlos Buono -- Retrata de Nana
I'm sorry to say that, in spite of its title and ostensible theme, this is just another formulaic Mirabai brand blogswap CD. You've got yer Cohen, yer Haydn, yer Newman, yer Brand, yer Scandinaviana, yer tango -- dreadfully predictable. I apologize. Suck it. This here's the tango.
2. Kronos Quartet -- Purple Haze
I just think this is cool. Maybe it's not cool, and I'm deluding myself. But I think it's cool. Also because I had it in my mp3 collection for over a year without ever hearing it before it suddenly came up out of nowhere and smacked me in the head. Also, I put it on because it sort of fits in each one of the three categories; "That girl put a spell on me" = Sex. "Is it tomorrow, or just the end of time?" = Death. And frenzy? Just dig them crazy violins, baby. Plus, "Am I happy or in misery?", which leads into...
3. Green Day -- Misery
This is one of two Green Day songs I've heard. I wasn't too impressed with the other one, and I've heard vaguely deprecatory things about 'em, but I really like this song. I got it from the guy I work with. As far as I can tell, the lyrics are pretty much completely nonsensical, but I'm a sucker for that sardonic spooky carnival music type style. I don't care what you're singing about, if it sounds like it should be on the soundtrack to Something Wicked This Way Comes, I'm yours. Plus -- mariachi trumpets!! How can you go wrong?
4. Muddy Waters -- John the Conqueror Root
This begins the sex portion of our album. What can I say? The man's a master. There ain't nothing sexier than the blues, whether you're in a crowd, with a nice pretty lady, or all by your lonesome just you and your, uh, root. If you know what I'm saying.
5. Pills to Purge Melancholy -- My Thing Is My Own
I've said it before and, damnit, I'll say it again: this song should be the beginning and the end of abstinence-only sex education curriculum in America. I mean, what more is there to say?
6. Itzhak Perlman & The Klezmatics -- Simkhes Toyre Time
I love fall. This album sort of started out as an evocative autumny kind of thing, though it altered a bit along the way. But some of the songs on here always remind me of fall when I hear 'em. This is one of 'em, obviously, since Simchas Torah was on October 18th. I remember at Towson last year looking at all the cool signs put up by the Jewish Union -- they gave out free sushi, and went camping, and always seemed to have the best parties, especially on Simchas Torah. But I never went 'cause I'm a crummy old shikse with an inferiority complex. This song reminds me of the old joke with the punchline that goes "It might be Shemini Atzeret in Shul, but it's Simchat Torah in my pants!" I was actually contemplating titling this album "Simchas Torah In My Pants", but I eventually thought better of it. You're welcome.
7. Oscar Brand -- Four Letter Words
Um... it's clever and dirty, just the way I like my folk songs. And contains the phrase "By Rabelais's Beard!" Oscar Brand continues to be my hero.
8. My Fair Lady -- A Hymn to Him
Just so we don't lose sight of the other meaning of that ever-vital word. Sing along with Moss: "Nouns Have Gender; People Have Sex!" I wonder if anyone's ever written Higgins/Pickering slash. Hmmm...
9. Gay Century Songbook -- That Way
This song and the next one I liked so much I put 'em on my "Retrograde Inversions" (queer songs of the 20th century) mix. They just tickle me every time I hear 'em. I beg your indulgence. "If you think this is exciting, you should see that half-naked Stravinsky ballet with those ~super~ ~human~ ~leaps~ by Nijinsky..."
10. Ella Shields -- Why Did I Kiss That Girl?
This is from the extremely awesome "Tipping the Velvet" tribute album, and I fuggin' love it. Plus, it's a polka! There ain't nothing finer.
11. Beethoven -- Melodram
I am, to put it simply, Naxos's bitch. It has me forever in its thrall. It's been going on for years now, but I finally realized how inextricably infatuated I was with that company when I picked up their "Glass Harmonica" album. What other label would ever record such a thing? And how can it kick so much ass?! This is just a tiny short thing. The words are:
"Du, dem sie gewunden,
es waren dein zwei Blumen fur Liebe und Treue.
Jetzt kann ich Totenblumen dir weih'n,
doch wachsen an meinem Leichenstein
die Lilie und Rose auf's neue."
Which, as far as babelfish can make it out, is all about lost love and wilted flowers and gravestones and things. So I thought it was a good little lead-in to the death segment of the mix.
12. Schubert -- Death and the Maiden
Sung by Mr. David Daniels, countertenor supreme. This is a very famous song. It hadn't occurred to me to put it on until my mom brought it up and then I was like, "Gah! Of course!" and scrambled to fit it in, 'cause it's just perfect.
13. Kari Bremnes -- Gikk du noen gang fri?
I used to do this with Leonard Cohen songs all the damn time. I changed "First We Take Manhattan" so it was about my middle school. I painstakingly altered the meter and pronouns of "I'm Your Man" so I could sing it to some hypothetical paramour from the bottom of my own earnest 12-year-old heart. That this chick can do the same, and in Norwegian, no less, impresses me no end. Plus I figured that I should stop putting on songs that, no matter how awesome they are, half the blogmass is bound to own already. Betcha you don't own this one, ha! (If you don't own the original, "Famous Blue Raincoat", though, go and get it. Hurry. It's just glorious.)
14. Randy Newman -- Baltimore
I showed the words to this to Martin once, and I think he was a little bit insulted. But, God, that wasn't my intention. Maybe when he hears this and gets the sense of the actual song he'll know what I meant. I love Baltimore. I miss it a hell of a lot, considering I only spent about six months there. I remember leaving on the Greyhound listening to this song and when the "With the mountains high; never coming back here, 'til the day I die" bit came on, feeling devastated. Because the great old bleakness and dignity of that city was being taken from me, and I was being exiled to the mountains... who knows if I ever would come back? The song's about how, in spite of its ugliness, or because of it, or both, a city can be beautiful. At least to me.
15. Des de Moor -- Last Orders, Please
Random British Cabaret I downloaded off the internet while searching for "claves mp3". I don't know about this guy's voice, and some of the lines make me wince a little, but after listening to the song with a critical scowl about twenty times in a row, I decided that, for reasons I couldn't quite put my finger on, I liked it. And it fit.
16. The Clancy Brothers -- Tim Finnegan's Wake
Hard to say anything original about this one. My mom's read Finnegan's Wake. I haven't. That always gives me a twinge. Uhh... nice, rollicking, jiggable tune about drinking, fighting, and death.
17. Chuck E. Weiss -- Dixieland Funeral
More of the same, though completely different. I've always wanted a Dixieland Funeral. You walk to the funeral in black, a huge long procession, slowly and solemnly... and then, once the coffin's in the ground, you let out a whoop and dance your way through the streets back home to party all night. That's how it oughtta be.
18. The Hungarian Gypsy Orchestra -- Fast Czardas
Here beginneth the FRENZY!!!!! Woop woop woop woop!
19. Haydn -- Allegro Molto from Cello Concerto
I just... I just love this song so. goddamn. much. It makes me headbang and holler and spaz out like a crazy thing. It's... yeah. WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
20. Gluck -- Allegro non Troppo from Don Juan
Like I said a long time ago on Martin's blog, this is from a Gardiner recording and, as usual, he takes it way the f*ck Troppo. And I love it. Don Juan? Sex, of course! It's the bit where the demons drag him down to hell. But the same tune is used for the Dance of the Furies in Orfeo ed Euridice, so it fits that lovely cover picture I found. Don't those Bacchae look pleased with themselves? It's a job well done. Let's hear it for frenzy.
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(20)
09:09:41 PM,Monday 27 October 2003
Reports from the field state that Joan Sutherland played (plays?) in our sandbox. Joan! Sutherland! Ok, so she may not be much of a looker, but Gott in Himmel, that VOICE! My parents were just asking me the other day how she stood it with Rickie-Dickie Boing-Boing boffing all the boyos all the time, and now, apparently, we know. Mwa!
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12:53:39 PM,Monday 27 October 2003
