Bloglet, the gentleman's mock turtle soup -- Moss made it sweeter than myrrh ash and dhoup
I miss Moss and Julia and Julia's mom. And my nephew just left for a week. But Neil is still here, woo! I think he's still asleep, though. Man. This kind of weekend is the kind of a weekend that can last you through about... four and a half months of crushing agony. And since my months are likely to be very very much nicer than crushing agony, it'll probably last for... no, scratch that. I want them back right NOW!
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(4)
10:38:00 AM,Tuesday 19 August 2003
Full. And, considering the circumstances, inexplicably ecstatic.
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(4)
04:46:54 AM,Monday 18 August 2003
I have been having an insane, possibly illegal, amount of fun. Julia! Neil! Julia's mom! And tonight -- MOSSSSSSSS!!
Life is too good to be countenanced.
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(2)
07:36:40 PM,Friday 15 August 2003
Leprous lesions.
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(1)
02:59:34 PM,Wednesday 13 August 2003
Neil's coming tonight! NEIL'S COMING TONIGHT!!!
It's still all horrible and smoky. Sorry, Neil. And I won't be able to see you 'til tomorrow morning, but that means you get the bed to yourself! Can you leave the time that you're arriving in this blog entry? We (that is, one or both of my parents, as I will be at work) will pick you up and bring you hoooooome, baby!
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(4)
11:29:25 AM,Wednesday 13 August 2003
Cyber Music Surplus is nuts. If you're looking to get yourself some cheap-ass Classical Music, they're having a 75% off sale right now.
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11:57:26 PM,Tuesday 12 August 2003
What is it with these companies naming their freaking mp3players after Eastern religious concepts? It's tasteless and boring and incredibly annoying. Yeah, I know I just bought my brother a Zen, 'cause it's a damn good device, but I ain't gonna buy one for myself, I don't care if they come out with a 120 gig version, until they change what they call it. God, it bugs me. I think I'm gonna write Creative a letter. And I'm not just pissed at Rio 'cause they stole my dad's middle name. They're being lazy copycatting buttmonkeys.
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(7)
11:55:01 PM,Tuesday 12 August 2003
You fatuous, toffee-nosed, malodorous pervert!!
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(1)
02:19:35 PM,Tuesday 12 August 2003
Right! Sorry about that. Here's the quote (I didn't know this one by heart; had to look it up):
So it's a tie between Anne and Moss. As a tie-breaker, I offer the following quote, worth ten points (so Moira or Julia could conceivably win, too):
ARGH!
SYSTEM SHUTTING DOWN AGAIN
QUOTE AFTER THE BREAK.
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(1)
07:08:51 AM,Tuesday 12 August 2003
A relative of mine used to buy broken things at garage sales, clean them up, take them to Sears, and demand a replacement for the faulty product they sold her. She had so much chutzpah they would give it to her without even asking for the receipt. I just thought of a very unethical means of getting free computer upgrades, a sort of electronic Munchausen-by-Proxy: you buy a computer at Best Buy or similar chain store with an extended warranty, use it until it's obsolete, then systematically destroy the hardware in subtle ways so that you have to bring it in to get it fixed four times. The "no lemon" policy kicks in, they give you a new computer at no extra charge, and you're a total bastard.
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(1)
04:53:31 AM,Tuesday 12 August 2003
It really is the best list of skills ever. Ever. Damn. It reminds me vaguely of this old role-playing game my nephew and I were obsessed with in middle school called "Ninjas and Superspies". I played a plucky old British General (maybe modeled unconsciously after the one in the song, now that I think of it) who could speak Norwegian, Swahili, and Basque, perform various esoteric religious rituals in his sleep, and many other insanely cool things besides. He died in the first fight, of course, because I hadn't actually used any of his skill points in any areas practical to the game (sound familiar, Remi? (`; ), but I wanted to be just like him when I grew up. Because I'm busy wrangling with that bloody virus on my other computer, I figure I'll catch the meme and post my own checklist. At least it'll come in handy in ten years or so when I wanna see if I've learned anything, anything at all. Bolded ones are ones I figure I can do.
KATHERINE'S FABULOUS LIST OF USEFUL HOUSEHOLD SKILLS
BASIC
Change a lightbulb (one of the official duties of my employment)
restart a computer install software paint a room
check oil (can't usually be bothered to do it, though. Maybe if I had my own car)
change a tire (the question is: could I change the tire with an army of enraged zombies barking at my heels?)
bake muffins (from scratch! another official job duty since they started skimping on the grocery bills and stopped buying mixes) and pasta (al dente, natch)
operate a grill
play an instrument unclog a toilet (this one and the last one go together; I've never used my trumpet's plunger mute on a toilet, but I'll know it's always there if I need it)
know how to turn off water and electricity identify an unmarked police car on the highway
communicate basic needs in a foreign language (um... Latin, probably, but it would take me twenty minutes, and I wouldn't really feel right asking the Pope where the bathroom was. The only thing I can say with confidence in a living language is "Ikke pirke nesa!", which is Norwegian for "Don't pick your nose!")
complete income tax forms
carry a tune sort a load of laundry start and tend a vegetable garden (I did this a few times when I was a kid, but I just tried to plant snapdragons this summer and not a single freaking one of 'em came up. So I doubt if I qualify.)
perform the Heimlich manuever deal with salesmen and proselytes and mendicants tend sprains and minor infections administer first aid lie with a straight face
mow a lawn
MEDIUM
Hang drywall
build bookshelves and tables
bake bread
change oil and brake fluid
rotate tires
install hardware diagnose simple computer problems identify location and nature of car trouble
be fluent with correct terms in all disciplines (This is under Medium?! All disciplines?)
fix plumbing leaks
know basic mixed drinks and how to make them (all I've really made are gin and tonics at Croquet, but I got a 1,000 Drink Mixing Guide for my eBookman and I've been reading up on the subject)
know how to set a table at all but the very highest levels of formality read music complete business tax forms (I don't care if this is a basic skill. There's no way in hell I'm gonna learn how to do this. I'd rather be spitted and soaked in brandy.)
operate a manual camera
sing harmony communicate at social levels of politeness in a foreign language
make paint (I mean, I could crush some pretty rocks in a mortar and pestle and mix it with dehydrated egg white and water. That's paint, right? But I think it'd probably take me a couple tries 'til I got the proportions right.)
make and iron casual clothes
perform CPR (just re-certified, courtesy of my job.)
familiarity with basic medicinal and nutritional properties of herbs and foods
therapeutic massage (I don't think I'm very good at this one yet, but I try my damnedest)
fend off unarmed attackers hotwire a car
shoot a handgun identify local flora drive a motorcycle
give birth unassisted
bargain perform acts of basic masonry (does being able to whistle key portions of The Magic Flute count?)
build a deck
lay flooring
ADVANCED
Build beds and chairs
diagnose car and computer problems
replace common engine parts
install electrical wiring
install plumbing
understand federal and local laws
know wines and spirits
know at least one programming language (grrr... I've been meaning to do this one since around 1990 and haven't made a lick of progress)
improvise on a musical instrument make cheese (I totally need to learn this! That's why this list is so kickass -- I never knew before how much I TOTALLY need to learn how to make cheese!)
make and iron formal clothes
set a broken bone
fend off an intruder armed with a knife or small firearm
pilot a small plane (I did it once a long, long time ago, for around twenty minutes. But that was mainly just moving the joystick around. I didn't learn any of the important stuff.)
kill unarmed
seduce the initially unwilling (Another must do. Post haste. Goddamnit.)
perform at normal competence while injured or incapacitated (I never have been seriously injured or deathly ill, but I've usually been able to pull it together pretty well when things were trying to lay me low.)
design an architecturally sound structure
operate farm and construction equipment
administer a network
design clothing
cannibalize a car for parts
build a computer
be courteous, compelling, or gallant in a foreign language
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(9)
03:14:28 AM,Tuesday 12 August 2003
I'm cleaning my room in anticipation of my GUESTS (yay!), and one of the things I gotta do is clear away all the books that have spilled onto the floor. I've got five bookcases in my room, but one's reserved for knick-knacks, and the other ones are full to bursting. See, my dad has this habit of buying people little presents. He goes to Goodwill and the Salvation Army and the Public Library nearly every day and whatever he can find that's cheap and catches his eye, he'll buy. Then, if he doesn't want it, he'll fob it off on a friend or relative. I was gone for four and a half years, so when I came back I discovered about a hundred new books in my bookshelves. Well, when I say "new", I actually mean "where the hell did this come from?". They're in various conditions of use and interest. Like, sorting through 'em all today, I realized that, pretty much regardless what it's about or how brilliant it is, literary criticism leaves me cross-eyed. Into the bin. Music criticism less so, but... like, there's only so many books like Berlioz and his Century I can take. My dad's also got some wack idea that I'm interested in treatises on the Female Question. Uh, no. In debating over which book should earn my precious bookshelf space, Robert Heinlein's Friday beat out Herland by about twenty to one. I mean, "Herland"?! Gluh, spare me. The thick hardcover guides to various communicable diseases I have a hard time parting with, but after a certain point I kinda gotta thin the ranks. Ditto the trashy novels he picked up in the five-cent bin. I mean, I love trashy novels and all, but there's such thing as a glut, y'know? I'm keeping all my Program books (except I gave away my Loeb De Rerum Natura to my brother. I read him the bit about the swerve and he got crazy happy 'cause Lucretius, he said, had hit upon one of the fundamental problems of cosmology. More power to him.) so they can sit there taunting me to read them again.
Argh. Books! Too freaking many of them! I got so intimidated by all these towering masses of books in my room, so I stopped reading altogether. Then I couldn't stand it anymore and checked out an armful from the library. Just as I finished 'em I got my eBookman and now they're on my dresser racking up fines at the rate of knots. I'm so fixed on my little handheld beastie and the hundred-twenty-something kickass books I got secreted on it, I don't know when I'll read another print book again. And yet... it makes me happy that they're there. I like going through 'em and culling 'em and stuffing 'em back on the shelves in disarray. I know that soon I'll start working my way through 'em again, re-reading the old ones, digging through the new ones, lending 'em out, buying more, hacking away the well-meaning dead rot of my father's presents...
Apropos of nuttin', I was just thinking today that I think it'd be fun to write liner notes for classical CDs. But I think you probably gotta have a bunch of degrees and prestigious connections for that. I was just thinking.
I'm also wondering if this rebooting thing is a virus, after reading how Gabe got blasted by one. My free virus software doesn't detect anything, but it's out of date, and it obviously can't download its update seeing as every time I connect to the internet it starts going all "I'm a thirty-second bomb! I'm a thirty second bomb! Twenty-nine, twenty-eight..." on my ass. Grrr. (I'm writing this blog entry off line; I'll upload it real quick and disconnect again. It only seems to shut down when I'm actually online, and have been for more than four minutes or so. Weird, innit?) I dunno. Foom.
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(3)
01:42:42 AM,Tuesday 12 August 2003
Wikipedia is pretty awesome. (From googling "History of the Tonsure")
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(1)
12:01:25 AM,Tuesday 12 August 2003
This whole computer-shutting-off-exactly-two-minutes-after-every-bootup thing is starting to get just a wee bit tiresome.
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(23)
05:57:02 PM,Monday 11 August 2003
Fire on the Mountain, run, boys, run...
Devil's in the house of the setting sun...
All you guys who're coming, expect a shock. As of about two days ago, fire season started getting hardcore bad around here. Enormous gouts of flame off the mountain in front of my brother's porch. A glowing saffron sun and a ghoulish yellow moon. Smoke and ash all over the place. Maybe it'll clear up and maybe it won't. Think of it as practice for the apocalypse.
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(4)
04:26:43 AM,Monday 11 August 2003
Went to Rockin' Rudy's, blew money on CDs: Andreas Scholl sings Vivaldi, Art of Fugue, Telemann's Don Quixote Suite. I am a wicked creature. But they rule. Seen: a big red sticker, under the shrinkwrap, on the Bernstein recording of the St. Matthew Passion, reading: "Simply Red -- Includes the hit single THE RIGHT THING".
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(1)
07:47:19 PM,Sunday 10 August 2003
My brother's getting MARRIED!
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(12)
08:07:11 PM,Saturday 9 August 2003
Last night, for no particular reason, I was thinking to myself that if I had to be executed, I'd choose the guillotine. Quick, clean, dramatic sort of death, I thought. Then today, serendipitously, the Saturday opera was Dialogues of the Carmelites (in English, saints be praised). I, uhhh... I think I've kind of changed my mind.
"Salve Regi SSSHHHHCCCCHHNKRRRTHWUNK na, Mater miseriSSSHHHHCCCCHHNKRRRTHWUNK cordiae, vita dulcedo et SSSHHHHCCCCHHNKRRRTHWUNK spes nostra sal SSSHHHHCCCCHHNKRRRTHWUNKve."
{shudder}
How about a nice quiet drawing and quartering?
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(13)
04:44:14 PM,Saturday 9 August 2003
Man, I don't want to be demanding or importunate or anything, but I've been wondering about something for quite a while. As you know, I get free email through Catholic.org, and I figure it's the least I can do to read the occasional emails they send me in exchange for the hosting. Yesterday they sent me a link to this, which is about gay marriage mostly but also addresses the whole extent of homosexual "practices", and which is, I'm sure, informed not only by Bush's recent speech on the subject, but by the confirmation of the gay Episcopalian bishop, the repeal of the Texas sodomy laws, and, more broadly, the extraordinary appearance of generally positive gay news in the country as a whole over the last few decades.
I wasn't raised in religion, and so I don't have any particular doctrine to reconcile either with my intuition or my experience. It has occurred to me strongly in both a physical and a psychological sense, to consider women as the objects of my sexual desire, since I was around sixteen. Because virtually all the people I know and respect have no negative feelings about this either in my particular case or in general -- as far as I've been able to find out -- I've adapted to this idea with a minimum of angst. It's something I've thought about a lot, because I find it interesting, but it's not something I've agonized over.
Our good buddy Thomas Aquinas said that homosexuality was a very grave sin because, unlike rape and incest, it didn't have any counterparts in nature. This has been proven to be staggeringly untrue. If he were acquainted with the evidence of gay guppies, swans, giraffes, mountain goats, and all the rest, would he change his mind? How could general public opinion in this country have shifted so quickly from near-unilateral disapproval or pity of homosexuality to easy nonchalance?
I want to know how you religious blogledytes treat the issue. Sometimes it's too easy to bring up the "left hand" analogy -- because of long-standing superstitions, hygienic practices, and foggy scriptural references, to the effect that that using one's left hand is inferior to using one's right, children were regularly chastized and re-trained (usually successfully) to use their right hand whenever they showed inclinations of left-handedness. These days that practice is, at least 'round here, almost completely kaput. And it happened in very little time.
Obviously, homosexuality is a lot more complex and far-reaching, and has many more explicit prohibitions against it. It's too simple to say that the the law listing it as an "abomination" in Leviticus were merely because procreation had to be encouraged at all costs in order to strengthen the ranks of the faithful. This is scripture, right? It's not something you can explain away. Same with Paul. I liked Paul. He seemed like a thoughtful and loving man. But what if you want to disagree with him?
Like I said, I don't have to confront this directly, because I haven't subscribed my soul to any faith. This is probably the worse for me, but it's not going to change by people yelling their own in my ear. I'll keep thinking about things and keep reading and keep listening for truth. What else could I do?
But you guys... Mike, Katherine, Tanya, Liz, Tania... what do you think about it all? This gay thing is just a touchstone for the wider problem of reconciling worldly opinion with divine revelation, of course, but -- just on this particular issue, how do you feel about it? None of you guys are fire and brimstone types, obviously. You're some of the coolest people I've ever been able to know. Maybe you've been keeping yourselves to yourselves for politeness's sake, which is a very kind thing to do, and certainly appreciated. But here I'm actually asking you for your opinions, so, if you feel like it, I'd like to hear whatever you want to say on the subject.
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(19)
09:58:27 PM,Wednesday 6 August 2003