Bloglet, the gentleman's mock turtle soup -- Moss made it sweeter than myrrh ash and dhoup
"Freedom lives hence, and banishment is here."
I think about St. John's every day. I don't feel like I went through some miraculous machine that made me into a new creature and set me free into the world. I feel like I was kicked out, driven out, booted away. I miss it so goddamn much. I have no complaints about anything that I'm doing right now; I'm learning useful stuff efficiently, I'm doing what I need to do in order to be who I want to be, and everything about where I am and what I'm doing is very pleasant. But it's not St. John's. I wasn't going towards anything when I was there. I just took it into myself. I read, I listened, I talked, I thought. It was like that for four years. Why did I have to leave it? Every day, many times a day, I wish I was back there. The people were wonderful, but there are wonderful people outside St. John's too, of course; no shortage of them. I still have all the books, and I can read them whenever I want to. I can go visit Annapolis any day of the week, and walk around all my favorite places. But I can never go back to school there. It makes me want to cry and spit. I'll never be in freshman seminar again. I'll never be in Junior lab again. No more precepts. No more orals. No more demonstrations on the board, or translations at sight. I'll never be in a place where everyone there has read the same books I have, and wants to wring the juice out of all of them, with four hundred different reasons and strategies and flashes of truth. I just miss going to class, that's all. Screw the degree, the credit, the solidarity, the friends, the cafeteria food, all of that. I can get by without that. It's not loneliness. It's... I dunno what it'd be called. I just want to be back in class. Hell, I won't even talk. Just let me be a prospective a couple days a week for a year or two... or ten... and I'll be satisfied eventually, I hope. I just don't want to miss it this bad anymore, like green sap in my stomach. I've never missed a person the way I miss this school, probably because no one I love has has been taken from me forever yet (thank God). But St. John's has been. I hate it.
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(4)
02:51:16 PM,Thursday 25 July 2002
T.I.A.I.L.W.:Blackcurrant, the flavor, really, more than the girl; I was eating chewy blackcurrant pastilles and then I had a hard blackcurrant drop, and I was so delighted by the state of my mouth afterwards that I decided to be in love with blackcurrant and went looking for a suitable icon. This girl'll do, I think... she seems to have more or less the proper affect. I think I'll have another blackcurrant drop. Ah, life is grand.
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02:09:10 PM,Thursday 25 July 2002
You DIE, Clippy! DIE!!!
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12:01:28 PM,Thursday 25 July 2002
Have I ever done something I regretted in the morning? I don't think I have. A pity. Have you?
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(7)
07:26:00 AM,Thursday 25 July 2002
What a dilemma! For mesmerizing beauty, extra deep carving, mystic symbolism of the Lamb's blood spurting into a communion cup, pick large; for smaller nibbler size cookies, pick small.
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(1)
05:18:13 AM,Thursday 25 July 2002
Discover the elegant reality behind the elaborate fantasies of contemporary physics. FREE INFO, Box 88, Garden Valley, CA 95633
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12:13:07 PM,Tuesday 23 July 2002
*hic* *hic* *hic*
I've always liked panthers better than tigers. I liked Bagheera better than Shere Khan.
I know there was a time in my life when ordinary drum fills didn't make my throat tighten up.
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07:06:47 AM,Sunday 21 July 2002
The water is getting yellower and yellower. It is extremely nasty.
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(2)
06:00:56 AM,Sunday 21 July 2002
So round, so firm, so fully packed...
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(2)
05:28:50 AM,Sunday 21 July 2002
There once was a boy named Pierre...
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(6)
01:24:55 AM,Sunday 21 July 2002
Dude! David Daniels lives in Silver Spring. I could go, like, hang out on his lawn and be an evil stalker groupie. Sweet!
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07:53:19 PM,Saturday 20 July 2002
I'm founding a secret society. Who wants to be in it?
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(11)
06:51:36 PM,Saturday 20 July 2002
Poised and Brittle.
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06:53:35 AM,Saturday 20 July 2002
Oh, hurray. A syndrome.
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(6)
06:49:51 AM,Saturday 20 July 2002
What's the difference between a Badland and a Wasteland?
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(5)
05:48:11 AM,Saturday 20 July 2002
Ping!
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(2)
02:14:39 AM,Saturday 20 July 2002
This looks like a really cool site. It gives you weekly shopping lists and then a week's worth of entrees made up of their ingredients. This week's meals, at least, look damn delicious to me right now (rhubarb fool!), and they don't seem to take much esoteric knowledge to prepare; I want to teach myself how to cook anyhow. As soon as I move into the apartment (with an actual stove and stuff), I'm gonna try it out. It's also very nice that it's an efficient dot-com type of business which is completely free and yet isn't a big corporate tool. Plus the Austrian chick is cute. I like the internet.
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(5)
01:10:36 AM,Saturday 20 July 2002
Polyanna's got a banana,
so has Mary and Cindy-Lou.
Mama, Mama, I want a banana.
WHY CAN'T I HAVE A BANANA TOO?
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(1)
07:42:03 AM,Friday 19 July 2002
