Bloglet, the gentleman's mock turtle soup -- Moss made it sweeter than myrrh ash and dhoup
Macaroni & Cheese & "Cheese" & Cheez
(Old Country recipe)
1. Buy box of Kraft macaroni and cheese from college bookstore for $1.09 plus tax. Put it on account.
2. Find pot. Run under scalding water. Turn off water, scrub pot with fingers. Run under scalding water. Fill with cold water.
3. Boil water. Play wretched half-game of pool with self. Add macaroni. Simmer 7 to 10 minutes or al dente.
4. Pour off water; leave a little in the bottom. This is hardly necessary to stipulate as you have no pasta strainer and will have to leave a little water in the bottom to avoid dumping contents of pot in sink.
5. Add powdered "cheese". Add half-can cheddar-flavored "EZ-Cheez" or generic equivalent. Add stale Parmesan cheese sharked from cupboard to give an excuse for what that gritty texture might be.
6. Taste. Nod appreciatively.
7. Eat with fingers, as pot is teflon-coated and forks scratch.
8. Eat half; throw remainder away, as it's thoroughly foul.
9. Wash pot. You're not a slob.
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(15)
04:47:14 AM,Tuesday 15 January 2002
T.I.A.I.B.L.W.:Eva Brann.
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(3)
02:53:46 AM,Tuesday 15 January 2002
T.I.A.I.L.W.:Tony Curtis in Drag.
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(1)
05:53:41 PM,Monday 14 January 2002
Higgledy Piggledy, John Cantacuzene
swaddled in Byzantine pearl-seated robes
put out the eyes of his iconophanical prelate
for piercing his priestly earlobes
(also, while he was thinking of which spells to use, he sang a snatch of Sumer is Acumen in!)
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(1)
02:56:08 PM,Monday 14 January 2002
John Bellairs's Higgledy-Piggledy rhymes, from the Face in the Frost (Roger Bacon used the following spells to turn a tomato and a squash, respectively, into carriages.)
Higgledy-Piggledy, St. Athanasius
riffled through volumes in unseemly haste
trying to find out if, hagiographically,
John of Jerusalem liked almond paste
oh, wait, I've forgotten the second one, and I have to go to Music. You'll get it later.
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(3)
12:27:13 PM,Monday 14 January 2002
Moss! Wish I could have given youthis one instead. (from here, via the new delicious Not My Desk.)
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(2)
12:14:54 PM,Monday 14 January 2002
Greeugh... Readers Digest sent me this big box with Elmo on it, 'cause apparently I filled out some web form, and then this chick called me and I didn't say I didn't want it 'cause she had a cute accent... I think it was East Indian... anyway, I'm terrified of this bugger, 'cause it's one of those "keep your free gift, cancel any time, return in 30 days and you won't be billed or sent any more of these little buggers" kinda things, and I'm not good at handling them logistics, y'know? And she asked me what child they were for, and I told her my nephew, but I was really ordering them for Storytellers, but now I'm not sure if I even want them for Storytellers 'cause we already have two Sesame Street books and you don't wanna overload on that stuff, and I just bought 47 dollars worth of art supplies and I don't even know when or where or who my art class is gonna be 'cause they didn't give me my schedule and I can't go hassle the registrar or financial aid 'cause they're going crazy with all these febbies swarming around -- I have six febbies in my dorm! -- and everybody looks at me funny and asks "why do you call them febbies" in this disdainful kinda voice and I haven't done much work on my essay and I think they said something about a plastic Sesame Street play-mat whatever the finch that is in there and what would Storytellers do with a plastic play-mat and graaah! Yi yi yi.
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11:59:10 AM,Monday 14 January 2002
I just saw the best banner ad in the world -- big blue letters, no graphics: "NUDE OPERA!"
and, along the same lines, I actually didn't delete a porn spam today, just because it used "its" correctly in the subject header... I'm not sure what to think of myself for that...
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(1)
03:28:18 AM,Monday 14 January 2002
I fixed it! I fixed it, Moss! Forgive me! :( Sorry.
man, what a sneaky way to guilt trip a chick... boobie-trap her bloglet. Fiendish.
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(3)
02:42:45 AM,Monday 14 January 2002
I fly! I flee! I flea! I fligh! I fleye! I fleigh! I fli! I flie!
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(3)
02:39:04 PM,Sunday 13 January 2002
Walking back to the car after Amelie just now, a jock in a Hellgate Letterman jacket pulled up and yelled at me, "Hey, Harry Potter!" I couldn't think of what to say, so I yelled back, "Oh yeah? Harry Potter *you*!" Then he yelled something about Dumbledore, but I couldn't tell what, so I made a long white beard type of gesture in a way I hope looked agressive. Driving home, we saw a kid, maybe eighteen, standing on a street corner waiting for the light. He was dressed in a medieval gherkin, tights, and one of those lace shirts with the drawstrings. He was carrying two huge blue plastic tubs, one on top of the other. They looked heavy.
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(1)
12:00:33 AM,Sunday 13 January 2002
The woods prelate, and this lentils to dire and gamble in the weight, all means the whether board groups, and the mall rats out crimps.
The with the general, the jobs that by the clause that catch, he were the debt-burdened Sean for me as banners match.
It took his marbles board in hand; long time coming to focus of, then rested he by the ton ton treat, as a while and.
And as an official thought he stood, the judge the war cries aflame, came within two the told to board, and burbled as it came.
One, too, one, too, and through and through, the board the blade when snickered-snack. Elected dead, and with its head he would galumphing back.
And test of slain the chair the walk? Come to my arms, when the image board! Both French state! Collude, Kool-Aid! He told an industry.
It was a brilliant, misled the toasted tire and gamble in the way, all means the with board " is, and a moment it's out great.
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(2)
05:58:03 PM,Saturday 12 January 2002
Now I'm concerned that I can't remember whether or not one of the post-bacc colleges I'm applying to was the one that offered Nude Woodworking...
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(8)
01:16:06 AM,Saturday 12 January 2002
T.I.A.I.L.W.:Billie Holiday_
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11:49:14 PM,Friday 11 January 2002
Dmitri Fyodorovich Spermatogonium Amadeus Theophilus Gottlieb Knight. Is a loon.
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11:42:45 PM,Friday 11 January 2002
Invest in a tuba and something or other 'bout Cuba; he sang about a lady who weighed 380 -- when she took a powder, she'd just start chirpin' louder, an' she don't do a gol-darn thing 'cept to stand up there and sing. When I listen to Palyatchee, I get itchy and scratchy. This sure is top corn, so I go to buy some popcorn. I hate to go back, but I can't get my dough back. There ain't no use complainin', 'cause outside it's a-rainin'. Seven hours later, I'm still in the durn theater, takin' turns at nappin', waitin' for somethin' to happen, Palyatchee he ain't hurryin', but the folks on stage ain't worryin', and it sounds like Katcheeturiun's Saber Dance: When ol' Palyatchee finds the guy he's seekin' cheek-to-cheekin' with his wife he grabs a knife and stabs the louse who spoiled his spouse, then he stabs the lady and himself -- 'tain't very sanitary -- then ol' Palyatchee sets up, then he gets up, sings "I'm dyin', I am dyin'" *he* is dyin'? I start cryin', 'cause to tell the truth I'm dyin' too...
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(1)
04:20:54 AM,Thursday 10 January 2002
Mr. Gillen, I formatted and straightened out what I have of the SJCPB script two nights ago, but, as I said, the last couple pages are down in Fe, nuzzled in my violin case. Do you want me to give you what I've got for safe-keeping, or just wait until it's all put together? I owe you on this one, m'man. Whatever you ask of me, I'll give you for back-interest.
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03:22:22 AM,Thursday 10 January 2002
At night, when I can't sleep, I do pull-ups in my head. I don't remember when I started, and it never happens consciously. I just realize, all of a sudden, that the picture in my mind's eye is of me, hanging off a tree branch or a pole, pulling myself up and easing myself down again in a slow rhythm. It takes some effort, but not much; I've tried doing one-armed pull-ups in my head, but I don't have the strength. I get halfway up and the muscle starts shaking. I don't ever feel worn out by it, though. I dunno. Maybe it helps me fall asleep... it's something to look at with my eyes closed, anyway. The funny thing is that I've never in my whole life managed to do a real pull-up. I want to, pretty badly, but I'll have to get a lot buffer than I am now. I wonder why I'm so much stronger when I don't have to bear up anything but an imaginary body. (`8
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01:26:34 AM,Thursday 10 January 2002
You need more German Drag Queens in your life.
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10:56:56 PM,Wednesday 9 January 2002
Anglo-Saxon audiences, passivity of, 42
Animals, aggresive, 30, impervious to artistry, 30, incontinent, 35, 40, over-affectionate, 33, recycled, 32, unexpected behavior of, 32-3, 39
Anvils, fragile, 51
Bats, at Glyndebourne, 33
Boats, dangerous to tenors, 50, prematurely scuttled, 26
Bomb, unexploded, 45
Bournemouth, canine disaster at, 39
Brunhilde, temporarily blinded by helmet, 48
Carmen, unkindness to animals, 39
Cat, starved of affection, 33
Chewing-gum, adhesive properties of, 67
Christians, persecuted, 30
Coathanger, misplaced, 54
Connoisseurs, dissatisfied, 42
Dog, Pyrenean mountain, uninvited, 39
Donkey, antic behaviour of during earthquake, 60
Dragons, Wagnerian, flashing, 51
Earthquake, effect on donkey, 59-60
Fenice Theater, Venice, 48, 62, femininity of, 62
Gallantry, Latin, 54
Gents’ lavatory, good acoustic qualities of, 22
Guinness, strength-giving properties of, 65
Horses, incontinent, 35, 50, centrifuged, 36
Hump, Rigoletto’s, displaced, 21
Husband, providential loss of, 61
Incompetence – better not specified
Jose (Carmen), 32, accused of drunkenness, 28
Kettle-drums, landing-strip for horse, 32-3
La Scala, Milan, 36, 43, 45, 62, 64, indeterminate gender of, 62
Lingerie, escaped, 54
Lions, dislike of high notes, 30
Mexican police, philistine attitude of, 28
Moustache, Duke of Mantua’s, swallowed, 24
Mussolini, weighed against Toscanini and fund wanting, 45
Neapolitans, an emotional people, 61-2
Orchestra, joke perpetrated by, 24
Persecution of tenors in Parma, 42
Persimmons, as missiles, 45
Pigeon droppings, simulated, 23
Plumbing, erratic, 22-3
Queen of the night, The, as Chicago moll, 45
Reality, sudden glimpse of, 17
Rigoletto, cured of hunchback, 21
Rocks, “Wagnerian”, 24
Siegfried, in triplicate, 48, swordless, 68
Sieglinde, toothless, 67
Singing positions, inverted, 18, suspended, 52, underwater, 26, 52
Stagehands, congenitally ham-fisted, 71, intransigent, 24, malevolent, 12, unbalanced, 65
Swan, dangerous to tenors, 50, falling, 40, precipitate boat, 50, stuffed, 50
Tess of the d’Urbervilles, could expect no better, 61
Tosca, bouncing, 12, foiled by science, 25, shot by mistake, 15
Trampoline, substitution of, in Tosca, 12
Trombones, sound enhanced in gents’ lavatory, 22
Truth, mutability of, 10
Underwater singing, 26, 52
Verisimilitude, aimed at, 23
Vesuvius, as opera critic, 61
William Tell (Rossini), cryptic production of, 71
Wind, disaster caused by, 58
Wotan, compared to bomb, 53
Yugoslav tenor, need for large horse, 35
Zebras, in attempt to enliven Norma, 32
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08:06:42 PM,Wednesday 9 January 2002
