Wanna know a neat trick? Get some thin, waxed string. I'm using dental floss, natch. Tie the two ends of it together in several bulky knots (I mean, make one big bulky knot by tying it in the same place many times over.) Then put the loop thus made around your knees when you're sitting with your feet up on the desk in the fetal position. Put the knot in your mouth. Spread your knees apart relatively rapidly. The friction makes the knot get very warm! Wow! What a cool trick! Repeat as many times as you like. It's two in the morning -- what else you got to do, punk?
There's also the one about playing video games and then putting the video game on pause and then getting your bassoon out and playing low Bb, and seeing the video game get all wobbly and shimmery. That one's good too.
And the one when you turn your eyelids inside out so you look like a freaky pink alien baby. I like that one.
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(2)
04:08:02 AM,Monday 26 November 2001
Since everyone's been bragging about their families this weekend, I'll brag about mine. My brother and his girlfriend are vegetarians, but they still cooked an entire damn turkey for just my parents and me. To perfection. My brother drove us all the way to Canada for kicks, including a 2 and a half hour wait at the border, and it ruled. My brother's girlfriend took the GRE this weekend and got a perfect analytical score and whupped major donkey snout in math and was studly in English too. My brother ran a 26.2 mile marathon (that's the distance between Bigfork and Kalispell) in four hours today. My brother's girlfriend spontaneously ran out and rented _The Big Lebowski_ at ten o'clock last night just because she wanted my parents to watch it. They're just glorious and cool and gracious and fun and beautiful. Yes.
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03:54:13 AM,Monday 26 November 2001
When you cross the border from the U.S. to Canada, they ask if you have any guns or explosives. When you cross the border from Canada to the U.S., they ask if you have any drugs or fruit.
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(4)
04:28:47 PM,Saturday 24 November 2001
My brother just told me about Raymond Chandler. He was paid by the word, naturally. So when he had a shoot-up, he emptied the cartridge. BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Everyone thought it was so evocative... so powerful. Har! Fifty cents!
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(1)
03:25:49 PM,Thursday 22 November 2001
My Brother's House in Seattle! Two dogs on the floor! Miles Davis! Windows XP! They none of them suck, so there! Food in the afternoon, soon! My parents hidden in the eaves! Joy joy joy! Woot!
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(1)
02:23:51 PM,Thursday 22 November 2001
"take care lemon grass... I loves yu... DaD"
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10:09:58 PM,Tuesday 20 November 2001
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04:44:06 PM,Tuesday 20 November 2001
gardy-loo!
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04:29:19 PM,Tuesday 20 November 2001
The universe is a four-dimensional Apollonian conic surface. This makes me very happy.
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04:29:05 PM,Tuesday 20 November 2001
I got a new bloody Eustace, pointless webcam, 'cause my other one is about to expire, and didn't work well anyway. Thing is, it's through those slimy tree-climbing Yahoos... Th' URL's http://geocities.yahoo.com/webcam/public/cnidarae . (or if you got their instant messenger, you can just add 'cnidarae' to your chums or bully-boys or whatever they call it list...) Oh, and Neil, you should try it through these shmoes too; it's somehow a lot smoother and less frazzly than Spotlife.
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(8)
10:26:02 PM,Monday 19 November 2001
I sent Ariadne the URL to _The Life of Heliogabalus_; she wants to do the 24 hour comic with us. So does Sara, incidentally. So when are we setting the date?
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(4)
05:04:14 PM,Monday 19 November 2001
"Crumbcake, rumcake, figs in foil -- touch the gent before he spoil."
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04:59:27 PM,Monday 19 November 2001
I just stepped out of the Night Shower. We got two in our bathroom; in one, the light's busted, but it faces the windows, so in the morning, you can take a shower in it, and it's lovely. The other one's got a light that works, but it's boxy by the wall, so you use that one when the windows are dark. In the Day Shower, you twist the handle to the left. In the Night Shower, you keep it just nearly at the right. They smell different, too. Everything's different between them. You wouldn't have thought so, though.
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04:02:54 AM,Monday 19 November 2001
I call it: Invert with Wiener Dog.
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(1)
04:00:37 AM,Monday 19 November 2001
I saw two movies and a play on Friday. I saw two movies on Saturday. I saw a movie today and I'm going to a concert tonight. A lovely weekend.
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(5)
06:38:31 PM,Sunday 18 November 2001
Oh. Well, I guess that's it. That wasn't very many, and it was an odd assortment. I am in an odd mood. Not definitive, no, but, I hope, more guessable than some other things.
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(1)
10:06:30 PM,Thursday 15 November 2001
"There can not be any appointment when the organ of return is not resisting any intermediate use. The coal oil is in their very well. The design is so disturbed that the fire does burn. That goes on to make little pieces redder. That shows the sense there is in the face. Any following is so certain that the choice of more is all expressed. The union of an emigration with an arrangement is distressing if the whole place is shown to be there. There is more comfort. There is the western bridge and there is water, there is more cover and there is plenty of air. There is a whole expression of no wish."
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(2)
10:05:38 PM,Thursday 15 November 2001
